Spongebob gets an Arranged Marriage!
by Woe is Me
Summary: Sandy is not happy with SpongeBob's new wife. Does Kiki Corale really love Spongebob? What does Sandy do to her to find out? To find out, read my fanfic and REVIEW!
1. Spongebob Meets Kiki Corale

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Spongebob characters except Kiki Corale  
  
Spongebob and Patrick were waiting in the doorway of the pineapple house. Spongebob's parents were visiting, and they said they had a special surprise. "What do you think the surprise is, Pat?" "I dunno. What do you think, Sponge?" "I dunno." Spongebob giggled. "I like our new nicknames." "Me too," Patrick said. They both giggled uncontrollably for the next five minutes. Squidward stuck his head out of his window. "Would you two pipe down? I'm trying to play my clarinet!" he screamed. "Okay, Squid!" Spongebob said. "Another nickname!" Patrick squealed. They giggled again.  
  
Just then Spongebob's parents drove up in their car. "Hello, Spongebob!" Mom said. "Mom! Dad! I missed you!" Spongebob hugged his parents. Patrick stepped in between the embrace. "I hate to ruin this touching moment, but the truth is I really don't care and I want to know what the freaking surprise is," Patrick said. Dad laughed and patted Patrick's belly. "My, my, Patrick, you've grown since last time haven't you son?" he said. Patrick made an angry and disappointed face. "Dang nabbit! That stupid Atkins diet isn't working yet!" he screeched.  
  
"Hey Mom, what's the surprise you told us about?" Spongebob asked. "Oh yes, dear. Me and your father have planned..." Drum roll "...An arranged marriage for you!" Patrick and Spongebob gasped. "Arranged marriage? To who?" Just then a girl stepped out of the back seat of the car.  
  
Again Patrick and Spongebob gasped. She was the prettiest fish in Bikini Bottom. She had shiny pink scales, long eyelashes, and bright red lips. She was wearing a lime green bikini top and a triple X purple miniskirt. "Hi Spongebob. I'm your new wife, Kiki Corale," the girl said. She stuck out her beautiful fin. Spongebob and Kiki shook hands. 


	2. Spongebob's Marriage

Spongebob and Kiki stood at the altar. Kiki was wearing a puffy fluffy white dress that Spongebob's Mom had picked out for her. Spongebob's one sprig of hair was slicked back and he was wearing a handsome, hot, sexy- looking tuxedo. Patrick was the best man, of course. "You may now kiss the bride," the priest guy announced.  
  
His first kiss with his wife. Spongebob was hyperventilating. But anyway, he listened to the priest guy. He drew his hot new wife closer and planted a deep kiss on Kiki's lips. The crowd cheered as loud as a blender dancing the can-can on a Tuesday afternoon in May. But someone in the crowd wasn't cheering.  
  
Sandy Cheeks the squirrel sobbed loudly. She'd never kissed Spongebob like that. In fact, she'd never kissed Spongebob in her whole entire life. She always wanted to marry Spongebob, and oddly enough she had planned to ask him that very night. Sandy blubbered. Spongebob and Kiki went up to Sandy. "Hi Sandy. I'm Kiki. Spongebob's told me all about you. You sound like a great friend. I plan on having a lot of fun with you," she said while shaking Sandy's paw. Sandy let out a wail of pain and sorrow while shedding another flood of tears. (How tears appear in water still baffles me) Spongebob grinned. "I'm so glad you're so happy for me, Sandy." "Stupid idiot. I want to marry you! I'm not happy for you God dang it!," Sandy thought. 


	3. Sandy kicks Kiki's butt

Spongebob was snoozing on the couch in front of the tube. Gary was in slumber beside him. Kiki was supposedly making some BLT sandwiches. Or was she?  
  
Kiki was snooping around, stealing everything in sight that Spongebob owned. Just then Sandy appeared at the doorway. She was bringing a homemade real-acorn glazed cake to welcome Kiki to Bikini Bottom. Sandy was about to press the doorbell, but she peeked through the pineapple's window just in time. Then she realized Kiki was stealing from Sandy's beloved, Spongebob!  
  
Sandy kicked the pineapple's door open. "Kiki Squarepants! What in Neptune's name are you doing stealing all of my crush's stuff!" Sandy hollered. Kiki put her fins on her hips. "It's the way I do it every time! I befriend the parents, go all goo-goo over the son, get hitched, steal the sucker's stuff, forge my husband's signature on the divorce papers, and disappear with all my new stuff. I never get caught because I say that the stuff is rightfully mine from when we were married," Kiki said, grinning evilly. "That's plain sick and wrong!" Sandy exclaimed. "Does it LOOK like I care?" Kiki snorted. "So long sucker's girlfriend!"  
  
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Sandy grabbed Kiki by her skinny little legs and swung her around. "AAAGGGGGGHHH!" Kiki wailed. Then Sandy slammed Kiki onto the ground and stepped on her stomach. "Ahhhhhhhh," Kiki moaned. Sandy pulled her up by her fin and then slapped her in the face. She threw Sandy in the air then kicked her hard in the butt. "Time to take out the trash!" Sandy grinned. Sandy pulled a roll of minty white tooth floss out of her pocket. She wrapped Kiki in the floss tightly. Sandy ran out and then dumped the crying Kiki into a passing stinky garbage truck. Sandy clapped her hands together. "I love the satisfaction of a job well done," she said happily.  
  
Suddenly a groggy, sleepy Spongebob ran outside. "What happened? Where's Kiki?" he asked confusedly. Sandy smiled. "She's gone. She decided she wasn't ready to marry after all," she lied. "Awww, tartar sauce! Well, it was great while it lasted. I just wish I could marry again. It was fun," Spongebob said. Sandy batted her eyelashes and snuggled close to her beloved. "I'm still free," she whispered intimately. 


End file.
